Love Actually (2003)

Love Actually (2003)

Release Date: November 21, 2003

First, an apology. I had originally promised to review for Mother’s Day that movie with Julie Walters treating her son badly because she’s dying and wants to be happy when she does. Research told me that this film was called Driving Lessons, and that I was very confused about it. Julie Walters is not an abusive mother or dying, but an aging actress that Rupert Grint befriends to get away from his mother Laura Linney, who doesn’t have nearly as sympathetic a motivation as I thought, and is simply an emotionally abusive, hypocritical bully.

Rating: The movie I imagined sounded good, but wires got crossed somewhere/10

Next up was Silent Hill, which involves a mother searching for her missing daughter in the haunted town, and is notable for featuring a mainly female cast. This time, there was another problem. I had expected the film to be 2spooky4me, since it’s a horror film, but the DVD menu alone registered at 3spoopy5u, and once the film started it went even further beyond!

Rating - The Spook and the Scariest: Big Boo’s Drift/10

I now needed to find something light, fuzzy and unlikely to give me nightmares. Love Actually satisfies those criteria, so let’s go.

I must admit that prior to watching this film, I did not have much knowledge of what it involved. I thought it was one of those things everyone knew everything about from pop cultural osmosis, but it seems either I was mistaken, or it actually is and the osmosis somehow passed me by. Anyway, there isn’t an overarching plot as such. Rather, the film takes the form of an anthology featuring numerous characters, their relationships and the role love plays in their lives in the weeks leading up to Christmas. Some of the stories include aging rock star Bill Nighy making a comeback with a Christmas single that could be charitably described as craptacular, a nativity play that takes some creative liberties with the birth of Jesus, Alan Rickman having an affair (that’s the second time I’ve mentioned affairs here) and Liam Neeson struggling to cope with the death of his wife.

Why did life have to imitate art in this instance?

While there are a few stories that take a different angle, most are variations on a theme – man and woman meet each other, one or both can’t express their feelings to the other until they can and most of them live happily ever after. In this case, the anthology format does more harm than good, as most of the stories treading similar ground makes the film feel repetitive, and the more unique stories, or the ones that have more emotional potential to them aren’t given enough time to develop. The format also manages to waste its potential, as not much is done with the crossover idea- the characters of some stories are related to or friends with those from some of the other stories, and the characters from several stories go to the school play at the end, but they rarely interact with each other, and characters from one story influencing another story is even rarer. Off the top of my head, I can only think of two examples, both of which are at the climax, and a bit of a cheat at that, as the first is a minor character who had only appeared in one scene prior, and the other is on a television screen as opposed to being physically present at the scene. Perhaps the film would have been better off as a TV series, with each story getting an episode dedicated to it. This would have allowed the more dramatic or complex stories to get the breathing room they need, and maybe allowed for more substantial crossovers at the same time.

While there is plenty of cloying sentimentality to go around, the film is sometimes capable of stirring up genuine emotion. These scenes tend to belong to the more bittersweet stories, such as the Alan Rickman affair story (that’s 3) and the guy who’s in love with his best friend’s wife (I can’t blame him really. She is Keira Knightley after all, and I’m sure the guy she married prays every day that she doesn’t come to her senses and leave him following the realisation that a goddess like her married a mere mortal.) The same is true of the humour. A lot of it is a bit too twee and quaint to do more than raise a smile. (The porn stars in particular are a one-note joke that would have maybe been okay as a comedy sketch, but there’s nothing there for them to carry a story, which makes their joke suffer diminishing returns. And it wasn’t a particularly funny joke the first time.) On the other hand, there is some very funny stuff here, like the hare-brained scheme to get laid in America actually working, or anything with Rockstar Bill Nighy, who I’m honestly surprised hasn’t gotten his own spin-off. I would watch that. Again, it’s the more down to Earth, realistic feeling material that sticks out in the memory.

To sum up, Love Actually feels like the filmic essence of Valentine’s Day. Hollow and saccharine, but built on a great foundation that is capable of peeking through at times. I realise that makes me come off like such a grumpy bastard that pre-heart growing Grinch would think I’m too much, (One day, I will write a whole blog without taking a shot at myself. This is not that day) and it probably does come off as much harsher than I intended. I don’t regret watching this film, but after the hype as a modern Christmas classic, I was expecting more than the biggest cast of British all-star actors and actresses this side of a Harry Potter film putting together a two hour Hallmark video card.

5/10

Two more things to say about the modern Christmas classic part. One, it’s probably my fault for watching a Christmas film in March, so I might give it another chance when ‘tis the season. ITV2 will inevitably take a break from showing Hulk and Jurassic Park 3 on loop to show Love Actually on loop around them, so that won’t be a problem. Two, I’ve just spent over 1,000 words talking smack about a modern classic and probably angered a great many people. In which case, #DealWithIt.

TRAITOR!

(Tr 8r defeats the disloyal author with his sick spins.)

Love is the most important emotion of all, as without love we would not have loyalty. Without love, there would be only TRAITORS! Love is what allows the First Order to bring loyalty throughout the galaxy, which is why Love Actually is the most important holovid to have ever been recorded.

First Order rating: 10/10