Film Rankings: The Final Standings
Here we are. Our journey is finally at
an end, and the time has come to evaluate all the films for the definitive
rankings. Let’s have some music to get in the mood.
1 Star Tier
Oh god no. I watched these so you don’t
have to.
35. Elektra
“Elektra is to blame for the existence
of social justice warriors on Tumblr. Thanks a lot, Elektra.”
Yay or Nay? Nay!
34. Blade Trinity
“Blade Trinity is a metaphorical wooden
stake through the heart of what used to be an entertaining little series.”
Yay or Nay? Nay!
33. X-Men Origins Wolverine
“It’s so bad that erasing it from
existence was too much acknowledgement that it ever existed in the first place.”
Yay or Nay? Nay!
32. Punisher: War Zone
“Punisher: War Zone’s grit and darkness
is its undoing.”
Yay or Nay? Nay, unless you’re Patton
Oswalt, in which case Yay!
2 Star Tier
These films aren’t recommended, but if
you do find yourself watching them, they do have some redeeming qualities.
31. Hulk
“At times, it almost feels like Hulk is
ashamed to be based on a comic about a big green rage monster.”
Yay or Nay? Nay!
30. Fantastic Four
“The title is only half accurate.
Unfortunately, the second half of the title is the accurate one.”
Yay or Nay? Nay!
29. Ghost Rider
“The cool concept just isn’t enough to
make up for the film’s flaws.”
Yay or Nay? Nay!
28. Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance
“Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance is guilty
of trying to have its cake and eat it too. One does not simply try to be so bad
it’s good and taken seriously at the same time, and the film would have been
better off choosing one approach and sticking with it.”
Yay or Nay? Nay!
27. Spider-Man 3
“It’s a real shame that this continuity
couldn’t have gone out on a higher note.”
Yay or Nay? Nay!
26. Daredevil
“Ultimately, Daredevil is a
disappointing film that is made more watchable whenever the focus of a
particular scene is Kingpin or Bullseye.”
Yay or Nay? Nay, unless you can get hold
of the Director’s Cut. In that case, Yay!
(For the record, the Director’s Cut
would score 3 stars.)
3 Star Tier
Now we’re getting to the good stuff.
This tier is the largest, and also has the biggest difference in quality within
the tier. It may help to think of this tier in two halves, with the films in
the lower half recommended with caveats.
25. Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver
Surfer
“Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver
Surfer proved to be a pleasant surprise.”
Yay or Nay? Maybe?
24. Iron Man 2
“Iron Man 2 falls victim to the unspoken
rule that the second film of a superhero series is the best (for evidence, see
Superman II, Spider-Man 2, X-Men 2, The Dark Knight etc), and is unable to live
up to the expectations this trend imposes.”
Yay or Nay? Watch it if you’re going for
an MCU marathon. As a stand-alone film, I’d argue Nay.
23. The Amazing Spider-Man
“It’s not bad, but after The Avengers,
not bad just doesn’t cut it any more.”
Yay or Nay? Depends on whether or not
you like the Sam Raimi Spider-Man films.
22. Thor: The Dark World
“When the most memorable part of the
film is the two sequel hooks, something somewhere didn’t really go to plan.”
Yay or Nay? Watch it if you’re going for
an MCU marathon. As a stand-alone film, I’d argue Nay.
21. The Amazing Spider-Man 2
“For everything the film improves on
from the original, there are an equal amount of mistakes that aren’t rectified
and are instead made worse.”
Yay or Nay? Yay if you liked the first
one. If not, probably Nay.
20. X-Men: The Last Stand
“While I do agree that it isn’t as good
as the first two, I suspect that I liked X-Men: The Last Stand more than most.”
Yay or Nay? Maybe?
19. The Punisher
“This film does a better job of sticking
to the darker tone than Daredevil did, due to the toning down of the sillier
elements, and reining in suspension of disbelief.”
Yay or Nay? Maybe?
18. Spider-Man
“The film doesn’t hold up quite as well
as it used to, because the story beats have become so familiar from so many
other films taking notes.”
Yay or Nay? Yay, but watch it early. If you
watch a lot of the other films before this one, it’ll be clichéd and
predictable and you won’t enjoy it much.
17. The Wolverine
“The Wolverine proves that Wolverine can
carry his own film without the result being a disaster.”
Yay or Nay? Yay!
16. Blade
“Blade is a highly stylish, though
occasionally dated, action film that doesn’t let a lack of substance get in the
way of being a fun time to watch.”
Yay or Nay? Yay!
15. X-Men First Class
“It’s not quite at the level of the
first two films, but it’s good enough to wash away the bad taste left by X-Men
Origins Wolverine.”
Yay or Nay? Yay!
14. Captain America: The First Avenger
“Captain America may not threaten to be
one of the best entries in the Marvel Cinematic Universe, feeling like it’s on
a smaller scale, but it still provides a good time for those fancying a good
old-fashioned Good vs Evil story”
Yay or Nay? Yay!
13. The Incredible Hulk
“Fortunately, The Incredible Hulk has
learned from its predecessor’s mistakes.”
Yay or Nay? Yay!
12. Iron Man 3
“Though it doesn’t beat the original, it
does at least improve on Iron Man 2, since it tells its own story, as opposed
to setting up the rest of the Avengers.”
Yay or Nay? Yay!
4 Star Tier
This batch comes highly recommended. Only
a few niggles hold them back from 5 star glory.
11. X-Men
“While there are no shortage of cool
effects and fight scenes, the secret to X Men’s success is the cast of
characters. They’re easy to like, even the villains, and they show us that
there is more to them than just their powers.”
Yay or Nay? Yay!
10. Blade II
“Blade II is better than the original.
It’s faster paced in both action and storyline, the fight scenes are more
exciting to watch and the villains pose more of a threat. This one is
recommended for those with a strong stomach.”
Yay or Nay? Yay!
9. Thor
“It was a risky gamble, but fortunately,
the gamble paid off.”
Yay or Nay? Yay!
8. Iron Man
“Marvel threw down the gauntlet and
proved that they could play with the big boys now.”
Yay or Nay? Yay!
7. X-Men: Days of Future Past
“Considering how the film ends, this
could well be the last time we see the original cast, and the balanced focus
between the two eras works as a way of passing the torch to the current First
Class cast and saying goodbye to the old cast.”
Yay or Nay? Yay!
6. Guardians of the Galaxy
“Guardians of the Galaxy is a better
modern Star Wars than the actual modern Star Wars.”
Yay or Nay? Yay!
5. Big Hero 6
“Another pleasant surprise of Disney
succeeding outside their fairy tale comfort zone, managing to continue Disney
animation’s current run of good form.”
Yay or Nay? Yay!
5 Star Glory
All of my yes. These films I would recommend
to anyone, even those who aren’t fans of the genre.
4. X-Men 2
“X-Men 2 manages to improve on the first
film by exploring issues of tolerance and peace in greater depth, as well as improving
on the already good action scenes from the first film.”
Yay or Nay? Yay!
3. Spider-Man 2
“Spider-Man 2 is like Spider-Man 1, but
bigger and better. The stakes are higher, the conflict is more personal for
both Peter Parker and Spider-Man, and the villain is stronger. This improves on
the original in every way.”
Yay or Nay? Yay!
2. The Avengers
“The Avengers is an absolute blast, a
big ol’ sugar rush of a film. It’s almost a shame that it has to end. Thank
goodness there’s Phase 2 to look forward to.”
Yay or Nay? Yay!
Number 1. Captain America: The Winter
Soldier
“Winter Soldier is a first for the
Marvel Cinematic Universe; a sequel that’s better than the original. Not only
that, but I’d argue that the added substance to the film means that it tops The
Avengers as the best film to come from
the franchise yet.”
Yay or Nay? Yay!
There we have it. After holding on to
the top spot for the first two countdowns, Spider-Man 2 is finally dethroned
for the final and most important one. Congratulations to Captain America: The
Winter Soldier!
With that done, this blog is now
finished. Big thank you to anyone who read this and who put up with my nonsense
talking about things I know nothing about. I hope you enjoyed reading this as
much as I enjoyed writing it. Nuff said.
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